Tengo una guitarra en el hombro
Una montaña de asombro una ceniza en la voz
Tengo dos canciones firmadas,
una está envenenada y la otra quiere tu amor
Guardo un recoveco en el alma
Que recuerda tu cara como nadie la vio
Río, lloro y paso de todo por el bien de los dos.

Vivo en un jardín sin malvones
Un zaguán sin salones, tu amistad quinto C
Pido que me olvide tu olvido
Pero ya es bien sabido no lo va a conceder
Ando como siempre vagando
por algún escenario y no lo vas a creer
Supe que mentías y todo por el bien de los dos

Y otra vez seremos dos extraños
Otra vez volveré a hacernos daño
Otra vez estoy en el fondo del dolor
Y otra vez, tu y yo, por el bien de los dos.

Tengo un rincón en la cama
Que ya no entiende nada y me pregunta por vos
Tengo una mitad que se queja
Y otra que no me deja escapar del dolor
Tengo una tremenda ceguera
y no va a ser la primera vez que vuelva a empezar
Porque ya no estas a mi lado por el bien de los dos

Y otra vez seremos dos extraños
Otra vez volveré a hacernos daño
Otra vez estoy en el fondo del dolor
Y otra vez tu y yo…

Y otra vez seremos dos extraños
Otra vez volveré a hacernos daño
Otra vez estoy en el fondo del dolor
Y otra vez, tu y yo, por el bien de los dos
Por el bien de los dos

A quién van a engañar ahora tus brazos
A quién van a mentirle ahora tus labios
A quién vas a decirle ahora “te amo”
Y luego en el silencio le darás tu cuerpo
Detendrás el tiempo sobre la almohada
Pasarán mil horas en tu mirada
Sólo existirá la vida amándote
Ahora quién?

Y quién te escribirá poemas y cartas
Y quién te contará sus miedos y faltas
A quién le dejarás dormirse en tu espalda
Y luego en el silencio le dirás “te quiero”
Detendrás su aliento sobre tu cara
Perderá su rumbo en tu mirada
Y se le olvidará la vida amándote
Ahora quién?

Ahora quién si no soy yo
Me miro y lloro en el espejo y me siento estúpido
Ilógico, y luego te imagino toda regalando el olor de tu piel
Tus besos, tu sonrisa eterna y hasta el alma en un beso
En un beso va el alma
Y en mi alma está el beso que pudo ser

A quién le dejarás tu aroma en la cama?
A quién le quedará el recuerdo mañana?
A quién le pasarán las horas con calma?
Y luego en el silencio deseará tu cuerpo
Se detendrá el tiempo sobre su cara
Pasará mil horas en la ventana
Se le acabará la voz llamándote
Ahora quién?
Ahora quién?

Ahora quién si no soy yo?
Me miro y lloro en el espejo y me siento estúpido
Ilógico, y luego te imagino toda regalando el olor de tu piel
Tus besos, tu sonrisa eterna y hasta el alma en un beso
En un beso va el alma
En mi alma está el beso que pudo ser

The heat of the city makes me feel okay, although weather is changing over here, after some time I wasn’t feeling too bad, but today just hit me hard  after a walk on the beach.

I think my sinusitis is coming back, headaches are killing me, I hate the congestion and the weakness…

Need to take better of myself…

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what’s mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won’t stop there,
I am here for you if you’d only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can’t break my spirit – it’s my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile.
I’ve watched you sleeping for a while.
I’d be the father of your child.
I’d spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine,
And I love you, I swear that’s true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I’m asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I’m kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I’m so hollow, baby, I’m so hollow.
I’m so, I’m so, I’m so hollow.
I’m so hollow, baby, I’m so hollow.
I’m so, I’m so, I’m so hollow.

And yet I have say goodbye to you…

Work hard for what you want, and if you don’t get it, work even harder!

Maybe I am growing up, I don’t know, but growing old for sure!, found another gray hair today

One more month and I am home!

Today was a long day, left home early morning and just got home a few minutes ago, let myself out of my cocoon, decided to do different activities rather than working, since the weather was so beautiful!

-Morning, Volunteer work, cleaning, packing food, wrapping clothes, planning for Christmas, although I won’t be here, I can still offer some help with preparation. The feeling I get after doing something valuable for others with my time is priceless.

-Mid day, Explored Little Havana, ate real Cuban food, walked through the Memorial park, shopping was great found a cuban tool, called “tostonera” that can make perfectly circled  Mexican ”gorditas”, got some dried “chile de arbol”, a rolling stick for flour “tortillas”  and the traditional “jabon Roma”, was a good visit.

-Afternoon, New books for November & December, spent some time at Borders picking my books for the month, and the winners were, taraaaaan…

1. “Wicked – Son of a Witch”, I am so excited about this book, I loved Volume 1 and had no idea there were 3 of them, however, I left the 3rd volume for January.
2. “Skinny Bitch”, oh yeah baby , no need to describe this one.
3. “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” by Steve Harvey, maybe I will be able to understand them better after all.
4. And finally, “A possible dream” by Walter Dresel, recover the ability to dream and make those dreams possible with the strength that resides within ourselves, I don’t even know why I got this one, but seems worth it to give it a try.

Got myself a pair of roller-blades , inspired by the weather, will be nice to go to the beach in the following days.

Next weekend will plan something out and maybe invite my neighbor to go with me, keeping me busy is good.

I am exhausted, *sight*

Last year in this month one of my dearest friend’s brother unexpectedly died from a heart attack and a coworker lost his dad, today one guy that I work with, lost his sister in a car accident. I can’t imagine their sorrow.

There is no doubt that we’re all going to die one day, the real mystery is when and how?, until then this is what we have, life, the choices we make mark the path of our lives, and at the end of them the only thing that we leave is the memories that others have of us.

There are many things we cannot control, let’s stick with the ones we can, and respect the dead by continuing to live.

At times like this, words cannot express our feelings, my deepest sympathy is with them.

I am so blessed to have all my family, I will see all of you soon, I love you.

“And in that one moment, you don’t seem to think.

You don’t think of your best friend, who is exactly like you.

You don’t think about how much your dog loves you.

Or even how much you love your dog.

You don’t think of how there’s a giant piece of cake waiting for you in the fridge,

Or even how that movie you’ve been wanting to see is coming out in 3 days.

You don’t think of how basketball season is starting, which is your favorite,

You don’t think about how much you enjoy your time alone,

And you don’t seem to be able to remember all the good times you’ve had with friends.

It doesn’t cross you mind, that your favorite hockey team just won the game;

Or even that perhaps it’ll snow tonight, and you love snow.

But you don’t think of any of that.

For that one moment, all you can think of, is that nothing is ever going to be alright again.”

Se que hay en tus ojos con solo mirar
que estas cansado de andar y de andar
y caminar, girando siempre en un lugar
Se que las ventanas se pueden abrir
cambiar el aire depende de ti
te ayudara, vale la pena una vez mas
Saber
que se puede, querer que se pueda
Quitarse los miedos, sacarlos afuera
pintarse la cara color esperanza
tentar al futuro con el corazon
Es mejor perderse que nunca embarcar
mejor tentarse a dejar de intentar
aunque ya ves que no es tan facil empezar
Se que lo imposible se puede lograr
que la tristeza algun da se ira
y asi sera, la vida cambia y cambiara
Sentiras que el alma vuela
por cantar una vez mas
Saber que se puede querer que se pueda
quitarse los miedos, sacarlos afuera
pintarse la cara color esperanza
tentar al futuro con el corazon
Saber que se puede querer que se pueda
quitarse los miedos, sacarlos afuera
pintarse la cara color esperanza
tentar al futuro con el corazn
Vale ms poder brillar
que solo buscar ver el sol
Pintarse la cara color esperanza
tentar al futuro con el corazn
Saber que se puede…
Querer que se pueda…
Pintarse la cara color esperanza
tentar al futuro con el corazn
Saber que se puede querer que se pueda
quitarse los miedos, sacarlos afuera
pintarse la cara color esperanza
tentar al futuro con el corazn
Saber que se puede (saber que se puede, que puedes intentar)
Querer que se pueda (querer que se pueda)
Pintarse la cara color esperanza
Tentar al futuro con el corazon..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed_aveK__D4

Tomorrow everything will be okay, I tell to myself every morning, one day I might start believing it…

How sad is the world that we live in, where some of us have so many and in the same city a lot of poorness and homeless people fighting each day against hunger and a place to stay.

Every child in this world must be able to have a home with people that cares about him/her, this is not right, is not fair…

At least for today, I felt that I had something to give, my problems seemed nothing compared to theirs,  it was comforting  to know that with a few hours of my time, along with other people, we can help to change kids lives in so many ways, give hope and a little bit of love.

Looking forward for next week.

(International Volunteer Day – December 5th)

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
And the dreams that you’ve dreamed of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly,
And the dreams that you’ve dreamed of
Dreams really do come true.

Someday i’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melts like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
And the dreams that you dare to..
Oh why, oh why can’t i?

Well, i see
Trees of green and red roses too,
I’ll watch them bloom for me and you
And i think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Well i see,
Skies of blues and, clouds of white,
And the brightness of day, i like the dark
And i think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They’re really saying i… I love you.

I hear babies cry, i watch them grow
They’ll learn much more than really know
And i think to myself
What a wonderful world.

Someday i’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh why, oh why can’t i?

Tomorrow everything will be okay…

I finished reading the books I had at home,

- Second Nature (Had mixed feelings while reading this book, loved the story, but some scenes where just not matching)

- Mentiras fundamentales de la Iglesia Catolica (most the things not new but with different perspective)

- Time traveler’s wife (love story with a not so happy ending…)

- Eleven Minutes (very psychological…)

- Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (one of the best books I’ve ever read, I will definitely go to the musical next year )

To read

- The other side of Paradise: A memoir

-When the Buck Stops With You: Harry S. Truman on Leadership

-????

I’ll have to give a look to the new books out there, didn’t expect to finish so soon the ones I had.

April 2009 – I moved to Miami for work in my birthday, people from my new company welcomed me with open arms and joy, everything was so different, weather hot, feels like I can’t breathe at times, humid, very humid.

May 2009 – Learning a lot of things from the new job, got an apartment in a quiet and safe area, close to the beach, water is blue and sand is white, there are palms everywhere and everyone speaks spanish, rich in latin diversity (guatemala, venezuela, colombia, peru, argentina, cuba, puerto rico,…)

June 2009 – Things remain the same, nothing too new, still at the beginning of the learning curve and missing my friends and family everyday more and more.

July 2009 – I made my very first new friend, and went for the first time to see “Grease” musical…

August 2009 –  August was a roller coaster of emotions in my love life, between past and present…  complicating things as usual…

September 2009- Love life still in the roller coaster, I visited for the first time Key West, Florida a small island in South Florida, a beautiful place, and went to Mexico and to LA to visit my family and friends, can’t believe how big my niece and nephew are… I got a new laptop!..

October 2009 – Six months now in the new city… Halloween spirit is not in me this year. work is going way much better than last month, I joined a non-profit organization for homeless kids in Miami, started swimming and reading again, which helps me relax, my love life a mess (lost my soul mate and my best friend at the same time), trying not to look back, feeling sad and lost most of the days… time will help and better days will come …  (I miss you so much … “cause everything’s easier when you’re beside me, come back and find me. cause I feel alone…”)

“Throw Me A Rope”
I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so, above as below,
That I’m missing you every time

I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening
We followed the sun and its colours and left this world
It seems to me that I’m definitely
Hearing the best that I’ve heard

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything’s easier when you’re beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go it’s like holding my breath underwater
I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do
Oh but I’ve got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything’s easier when you’re beside me
Come back and find me
Whenever I’m falling you’re always behind me
Come back and find me
Cause everything’s easier when you’re beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

Sink with the tide
Rescue me if you like
I’ll be leaving it all up to you
Think how we tried
It’s o.k. to be lied to
As long as it’s only by you

People say to me it’s best that we’ve parted
‘Cause you know I’m better alone
Don’t explain to me how you’re so broken hearted
I’m too busy mending my own

Ending each night with such honest goodbyes
Such honest goodbyes for the last time
Honest goodbyes only work once or twice
They work once or twice
Then the rest must be lies

Late ever night the colours fade from the sky
And the music is gone from the moon
Standing in line for what used to be mine
What use is the rhyme with no tune

People say to me it’s best that we’ve parted
And nothing is carved out in stone
It’s such a shame how we’re back where we started
It’s late now and time that we go

Ending each night with such honest goodbyes
Such honest goodbyes for the last time
Honest goodbyes only work once or twice
They work once or twice
Then the rest must be lies
The rest must be lies
The rest must be lies
The rest must be lies
The rest must be lies
The rest must be lies
The rest must be lies
The rest must be lies

Hoy me pregunté
por qué el final
de nuestra historia es triste
si lo que senti fue tan real
y nunca lo creiste.

Y saber de que sirvió lastimarse asi
yo sé muy bien
dijiste cosas que sabes
no son verdad
y aunque ya no estas
no olvidaré
tus marcas quedaran.

Sé que ya no volveras
Sé que muy lejos estas
que buscas otro lugar
sin mirar hacia atras

Sé que alguna vez
te encontraré y sera extraño verte
sé que el tiempo es una señal
y una respuesta a todo y dira
si aquel dolor
que nos hizo mal, nos hizo bien
fue parte de crecer.

Sé que ya no volveras
Sé que muy lejos estas
y espero que alguna vez
puedas ver que te amé.

Hoy me pregunté
por que el final
de nuestra historia es triste
y si alguna vez te encontraré
si sera bueno verte.

Y saber si esta canción
solo es el adiós que se llevó
lo bueno de este amor.

Sé que ya no volveras
sé que muy lejos estas
que buscas otro lugar
sin mirar hacia atras.

Cuanto me cuesta aceptar
que no pudimos ni hablar
y espero que alguna vez
puedas ver que te amé, que te amé.

“Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I’m the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What’s fucked up and everything’s alright
Check my vital signs
To know I’m still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a…

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone…

It is incredible how things can change from one day to another, last week I was feeling like I was happy and this one I feel a very deep pain inside my soul and my heart.

Hope better days come, time will help and evertyhing will be ok eventually.

If You’re Not The One
Songwriters: Bedingfield, Daniel;

If you’re not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?
If you you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you’re here with me now
We’ll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me, then why does this distance name my life?
If you’re not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss your body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breath you into my heart
And I pray for the strength to stand today

‘Cause I love you whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And though my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?